Do you own a paypal account? Have you ever encounter some unrecognized payment made through your paypal account to some unfamiliar name? 

If suicide isn't a sin, i think i would have done it since long ago. I don't know what i should do now. I need someone to talk to so badly... but why there is no one? 

First thing, first... I know that my parents are very stressful about their business problems... but they can't just make a conclusion that i never care about it.... i also have thinking about it... and most of the times, i can't tell anyone about what's inside me and my mind... especially my mum, she thought i'm such an ungrateful child that never think about her feeling and her stress... you don't know, you don't know at all... i'm fucking stress... every night i'm having a hard time to sleep because there are too many things inside my mind... too much things that disturb my mind and my emotions... You've been complaining that i'm a child who don't understand anything like don't know the reason why you keep calling your friends and talk every single day... I do understand... But do you know that sometimes you did it at the inappropriate time like when you driving? Do you know that now your concentration is not as strong as before? I can see it, but you can't ! You still thinking that you're good in everything until now. I did complain about you because I don't want anything happen to you. You're the that don't know me at all ! 

I tried to speak to you about why you and dad always fall into an argument. But, you still don't want to listen to me... What can I say? What can I do? At least you've got someone to talk to about your problem.. But, I don't... I don't have anyone to talk to... I used to have, but that person went away... Many things happened that make me hard to trust someone... You don't know anything... I never show you how stress I am, I never... Because I don't want to add any more burden to you.. There are many things that I want to write here.. but I don't want to do it now... I have no mood to do it...

It's been a few days since tat day.. Sigh... This feeling is really sucks... I'm happy tat u changed ur fb pw.. It helps me to forget u faster.. :) be optimist, ferra.. I know i love him tat much, but its time to move on.. If can, i want to be wif anyone eventhough i dun have any feelings towards them... Having a feeling towards someone is terrible.. Happy at the beginning only... Why i always date n love bastards? Am i fated to have these things? Most probably yes.. Haha...

Don't ever step into my life again... You are not welcome at all... I want to have someone who fully love me with all his heart, unlike you... Once i'm ready to open this heart to that person, i'll love him wholeheartedly... More than the way i loved you...

Feel so shity agn... Fuck my life! Why cant u get out of my heart n mind?! Isn't that enough for u to hurt me??? I fucking sick of all the bullshits u gave!!! Back n forth to me as if im just a house. Talk to me only when u're moody or bored or need someone to pei u... Fuck myself too for being a foolish who is ur willing victim... I hate u..... I really hate u.... Y u make me love u n u hurt me?? I hate it... Cuz of u... Its hard for me to open the door for others.... Its hard..... Im nt the type of girl tat can forget n love guy easily... I have no one to talk abt this..... No one will listen or understand these feelings... It sucks.... I need someone to help me... Someone tat able to calm these mixed feeling inside.... Im just like a volcano tat going to erupt all inside out....

i hate this feeling..... why cant i just erase u from my mind????!!!!! u r a bastard, why shld i rmb u??? u r nt worth at all.u shldnt even live in this world man if u only know hw to hurt ppl's feeling!! useless ppl shldnt be exist in this world. u r only a rubbish!

now i found out many other things abt u.. laugh... i feel fucking stupid n useless... yes i think i was so naive :) thanks for playing arnd wif this feeling... u were just making use of me.... im just a toy to satisfy ur hormonal needs.... it hurts to know all of that... but i guess its good for me, cuz it acts as a medicine to heal my heartbroken slowly :) n thanks for making me sounds like a prostitute indirectly..

if i nv learn stuffs that related to karma, i maybe will kill myself now... i hate myself for being used by u as a toy to satisfy ur hormonal needs, for letting u to play wif this heart.. while i nv even touch ur heart before... u loved that married bitch more n still can say to me thr's nth between u n her... fucking bastard n liar... i pity her son for having such a mother who has low moral.. n also pity her husband for marrying such a woman..

well, andy, i maybe love u that much but that love, this feeling will fade away soon..well  i know im childish n watever u think i am, but this is who i am. no one can ever change me except i willing to do so. i loved u this much, n i accepted u in every way u do... but i still have brains. im not gonna stay any longer in this loneliness that chained me for almost 2 years... i gotta go my own way n move on..

i tore all the letters that u sent me..
 there's no use for me to keep it anyway.. tomorrow im going to ecp, to throw the necklace that u gave me... the place where no one can even reach including me.. good bye... thanks for everything u gave me.. i appreciated it... if i could kill myself, i also want to do it.. :) bye...